Cakeism was the most recent word coming out of OWAD*, that brilliant fount of lexical and etymological wisdom that I keep recommending. Readers were given 3 options, as always, to choose from: excessive greed, impossible desire, constant economic growth.

Frankly, had not encountered the word before, but was able to guess its meaning, assuming it had something to do with the well-known English phrase “Have your cake and eat it”. Rather more often, of course it is used in the negative: “You can’t have your cake and eat it”.

The expression was probably never as popular as in autumn 2016, when in the context of the Brexit negotiations the then Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson flippantly declared: “My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.” Quite. Just goes to show how delusional and self-absorbed the man is. And when it emerged that Boris had been celebrating birthday and other parties during strict lockdown, the Sun took the opportunity to show him with a birthday cake and the comment “You can’t have your birthday cake… and eat it, Boris”.

In any case, the cake theme certainly took off from there, extending also to the phrase “Rosinenpicken” (literally “sultana picking”, but more often rendered as “cherry-picking”) – which was another criticism launched at the UK during the negotiations. They were seen to be wanting the best of both worlds.

As we know, not every proverb has a 1:1 translation into other languages. For one thing, not every nation is as obsessed with cake as the Brits are (think of The Great British Bake Off, which is easily one of the most popular TV shows in the UK). Illuminating in this context is perhaps that when Oscar-winning British actress Emma Thompson spoke out for REMAIN, she described the UK as “a cake-filled misery-laden gray old island”. There you have it.

Looking for suitable translations of the cake metaphor must have been a bit of a nightmare for translators and interpreters around Europe. I suspect quite a few just used a literal translation, as for example in German: “Du kannst deinen Kuchen nicht gleichzeitig aufbewahren und essen”, or Portuguese: „querem ficar com o bolo e querem comê-lo.” But these were obviously emergency solutions and not really idiomatic.

OWAD provides some examples of proverbs that express a similar idea:

• German = “Man kann nicht auf zwei Hochzeiten gleichzeitig tanzen” (You can’t dance at two weddings at the same time)
• Danish = “Man kan ikke både blæse og have mel i munden” (You can’t blow and have flour in your mouth)
• French = “Vouloir le beurre et l’argent du beurre” (To want the butter and the money for the butter)
• Italian = “Non puoi avere la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca” (You can’t have the barrel full and the wife drunk)
• Polish = “Wilk syty i owca cała” (The wolf to be full and the lamb whole)
• Portuguese = “Querer sol na eira e chuva no nabal” (To want sunshine on the floor while it rains on the turnip field)
• Spanish = “No se puede estar en misa y repicando” (You can’t be at mass and ringing the bells)

Doing a little bit of digging around, I found that journalists in some cases resorted to other options.

For German, these included: “In der Politik kommt es nicht gerade häufig vor, dass man zwei Fliegen mit einer Klappe schlagen kann.“ (back-translation: Kill two flies with one flap). And: „Den Vorteil haben wollen, ohne den Schaden zu riskieren“ (back-translation: Have the benefit without risking any damage).

Spanish: Volviendo al tema de la estabilidad relativa, me gustaría señalar que no se puede nadar y guardar la ropa. And: Querría la mantequilla y querría también el dinero de la mantequilla”. And: “… de que era posible a la vez comerse el pastel y preservarlo”.

As luck – or necessity – will have it, in German-speaking Switzerland we have a much closer equivalent, for which there is no counterpart in “High German”:

“dr foifer und ‘s weggli b’halte“ – i.e. „keep the 5-er (coin) and your bun”. Clearly, this is an attitude that the Swiss can be said to share with the Brits when it comes to their dealings with the EU!

It is documented that Xavier Bettel, Premier of Luxmbourg, said of the Brits: “They want to have their cake, eat it, and get a smile from the baker.” Clearly, that is a literal translation of the French “Ils veulent le beurre, l’argent du beurre et le sourire de la crémière”. This was also adapted to: “Brexit. Boris Johnson, le beurre, l’argent du beurre et le sourire de Jean-Claude Juncker”.

Interestingly, a cakeist is “one who specializes in cakes and similar baked goods”, but when used as an adjective it means “of or pertaining to having one’s cake and eating it”.

* https://owad.de/about-owad